I think, if anything, there’s one simple rule about sex: it’s all about pleasure. This can be taken a couple of ways. The first would be that it’s all about the finale, the coup de grace: the orgasm. It could also be taken as sex is all about pleasing both partners, whether its male and female, male on male, or some other combination.
Too many people however focus on the first part. They fixate on making the other person cum. I always love when the other person asks when its all over “did you cum?” Well, maybe, but is that even all that important? Sex is fun. Or at least, it should be. Its not a job, its not a profession (well, to some it is) where the end result is a messy ending.
Its taken me many years to realize that. To come to grips with the fact that yes, an orgasm is damn good fun but my soul goal isn’t to drive for it to the exclusion of all else. Sometimes you just can’t get there, no matter what you do. Sometimes you’re too tired or your minds somewhere else. Sometimes she’s too dry, or too sore, or too obsessed with work. If that’s the case, then take it slow. Slow it down to the point where things just feel good. Relax, and enjoy the feelings. Yes, you might not cum, but that’s life.
I use to ask my significant others each time, every time if they came. I think after a while they got annoyed with it. If they did, they were happy. If they didn’t, most of the times they were still pretty damn happy. They enjoyed the experience, they enjoyed the fact that I enjoyed it. In the end that’s what matters. The enjoyment of the moment.
If we were meant to cum every time, god would have given us one hell of a big red button labeled “instant ignition.”
Where would the fun be in that?
